Work life and parental role-based disparities

Family is a priority for me. In fact, one of the major reasons I decided to make big changes in my career was because I didn’t like the way the corporate version of me was impacting my relationship with my children. 

MY STRESS AT WORK SPILLED OVER AT HOME.

I was short of patience and my priorities were out of whack. I was more concerned about making it out the door on time than I was about the impact it had on them to have a chaotic start to the day.

I noticed that there was a huge gap between working dads and moms in corporate culture. So many of the men I worked with had wives that stayed at home, assuming most of the responsibility for running the household and taking care of the kids. I, and the women I worked with, lived in a very different reality. I didn’t want to be disconnected from my home and family, even though I had (and have!) a spouse who shares those responsibilities. It made me feel weird to say I couldn’t attend a super early morning meeting regularly because it interfered with my kids’ drop-off schedule. Could I have done it? Yes, technically, I could have made it happen.

Did I want to? Not really.

WHY SHOULD WORK TIME SPILL OVER INTO CRITICAL TIMES OF THE DAY FOR CONNECTING WITH FAMILY?

Ultimately, this is something we have to address in our culture. Learning to say no, and to be clear about why, is what I felt I needed to do personally. I spoke up about it. I would say no and let people know why that was my answer. I was honest with the men I worked with about the difference between their experience as working dads and mine as a working mom. Interestingly, I never got any pushback about that. They would look thoughtful for a moment and acknowledge the truth of it. 

My family is my top priority and I’m a better person for it, personally and professionally. If you’re a working parent, how has that affected your work life?