Success defined around achievement will never fulfill you.
This statement may provoke equal parts "Yeah, no shit, lady!" and "Wait, what?" reactions, even inside the same person. It's a simple statement, and yet it defies everything you've been conditioned to believe about what it means to be successful.
So, let's talk about it.
We spend SO MUCH of our lives in pursuit of the next thing. The next rung on the ladder, the promotion, the raise, recognition, status, accomplishment, etc. You've been taught that satisfaction awaits on the other side of these achievements, that the outcome itself is the source of satisfaction. And yet. When you get there, real satisfaction feels elusive. It's fleeting. It won't be long before you ask "what's next?" and proceed to move the goalpost.
This can be confusing. Why isn't the achievement more satisfying? There are a lot of reasons for this, but in some part, it's because there's such hyperfocus on the outcome that the process itself is overlooked.
The process of pursuing the goal is a critical component of the entire experience, though it's mostly ignored and treated as "doing what it takes" to get to the final outcome. The reality is that it's packed with information that matters and is more than just a means to an end. As you work toward the outcome, there's a lot to consider. How do you feel in the pursuit of this goal? Do you have any underlying anxieties about what it will mean if you can't pull it off? Does it put you on the most aligned path for your future direction? What are you expecting to experience at the end of the goal?
Much of this line of questioning is likely just outside of your consciousness. You may register vague feelings of disquiet or anxiety without following those threads to get to the bottom of why you feel the need to question in the first place. It's easier to put your head down and keep moving forward.
The problem with continuing forward despite the disquiet is that you end up missing the entire point:
Unconsciously, what most of us are seeking is self-actualization. Simply stated, self-actualization is heeding the call to move toward what you are capable of being.
BEING, not doing. Success conditioning has fucked this all up. It puts all the emphasis on what you have to do to prove what you're capable of, not only to yourself, but especially to others. In this paradigm, others are in charge of deeming you worthy, giving you that validation, opening doors or closing them.
Worse yet, you may feel forced to perform on some level (I discussed this recently), which only moves you further away from self-actualization rather than toward it.
This juxtaposition between how you've been conditioned and what you long for can keep you in a state where real satisfaction is just beyond your reach and mysteriously hard to define. The best way to find clarity is to turn up the volume on your consciousness, pay attention when you feel that questioning energy, and follow through to ask yourself the questions that will get you closer to the truth of where your energy goes vs. where you'd like to direct it.
That's pretty hard to do when you've been taught to operate in a linear fashion. Define goal, backfill tasks, get to work, achieve goal. Curiosity destroys the linearity of this path, but it's necessary. You're not a computer program. You're getting constant input from yourself and your environment. You have to process that information. Refusing to do so makes you more computer-like than human, and it's a guaranteed path to continued dissatisfaction.
So. What if you operate from a foundational intention of self-actualization rather than letting the goal itself dictate your path?
This isn't a to-do to add to your list or an identity to perform. It's about getting real with yourself. Where do you look outward for direction when the answers are inside of you? What do you long to prioritize? What if the process of pursuing a goal becomes as important as the outcome itself? What if you paid attention to what it took from you in the pursuit? What if you could change direction and be honest about when a goal isn't aligned or truly worth pursuing, because it's based more on the expectations of others than your own desires?
How much of your life is an expression of who you are, rather than an effort to prove who you believe you should be?